It’s incredibly common for today’s Hollywood to invest in known properties and established franchises. Why risk investing in a new IP when you can release prequels, sequels, or spin-offs?
Better yet, why invest in a new story when you can simply remake a beloved movie? It feels like every day, a new remake of a beloved film is announced. Enough is enough, though, and we’re putting our foot down.
Here are ten movies we think should never be remade, even if some are already in production.
Rocky
Perhaps the best thing the Creed films did was continue the franchise’s legacy with a new character rather than starting from scratch.
It allows the films to become their own thing while still being connected to the iconic Sylvester Stallone movies.
The issue with any attempt to remake Rocky is that there is only one Sylvester Stallone. The underdog nature of the first film cannot be replicated.
American Psycho
All systems seem to be go for a remake of the 2000s classic with Austin Butler starring as Patrick Bateman and directed by Luca Guadagnino (Challengers).
However, author Bret Easton Ellis, who wrote the American Psycho novel, recently said there are no contracts or deals, calling the rumors fake news.
The original American Psycho is still a classic that ages well. A remake adapted for modern times would offer nothing new or substantial.
Toy Story
Someone needs to stop Disney before they get any ideas.
Given their recent run of live-action adaptations of beloved animated classics, it feels like it’s just a matter of time before they start adapting Pixar films.
Before you ask how a “live action” version of Toy Story could work, remember that they’ve done a live action adaptation of The Lion King. Then again, Disney seems pretty content to release a steady flow of Toy Story sequels, so maybe they don’t see the need to remake or adapt it.
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The Wizard of Oz
If you watched television at any point during the holiday season, you saw an ad for Wicked, the theatrical adaptation of the popular musical based on the book, which takes place in the world of The Wizard of Oz.
Wicked itself isn’t a remake, but the popularity of all things Wizard of Oz has never been higher. While the 1939 film is a timeless classic, Hollywood has proven never to be shy about remaking movies that shouldn’t be remade.
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
With new Lord of the Rings movies in development, it feels like it’s only a matter of time before the trilogy sees a remake.
While a remake would allow for some changes to the adaptation of the source material, such as the inclusion of Tom Bombadil and an ending that doesn’t last an eternity, the Peter Jackson trilogy is as close to perfect as you will get. Why mess with perfection?
Back to the Future
Speaking of messing with perfection, we hear rumors of a Back to the Future remake for a modern audience every so often. After all, 1985 is now 40 years old, a bigger gap between 1985 and 1955 in the original movie.
One big reason for rumors of a Back to the Future remake is the popularity of Back to the Future: The Musical, which means the classic film can go the route of Mean Girls.
Given the lukewarm reception to the Mean Girls musical’s theatrical release, though, I think we’re safe here.
Almost Famous
Back to the Future isn’t the only beloved movie that saw a musical adaptation.
Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous became a stage musical that was nominated for Best Original Score at the Tony Awards. However, it only received a lukewarm reception at best, despite the fact that it seems like a pretty obvious transition from film to musical. Plus, Crowe was involved with the production.
Maybe it’s a sign that you shouldn’t mess with success and leave Almost Famous alone. It’s a perfect movie with a perfect cast.
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
There’s reportedly not one but two remakes planned of the classic Steve Martin and John Candy comedy: one starring Will Smith and Kevin Hart, and another featuring Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler.
However, both of those reports are several years old. Since then, Will Smith has slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars, and Adam Sandler has instead focused on a sequel to Happy Gilmore.
I’m also not sure how a modern remake would work due to modern technology; all of the original movie’s conflicts are solved with the existence of cell phones and mobile apps.
The Goonies
Speaking of conflicts in older films being resolved by modern technology, you can argue that the plot of The Goonies never takes off in today’s world.
The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve noticed that it’s less common for kids to stay out late at night, or even venture outside for the sake of adventure. They’re more comfortable inside, on the computer, hanging out in Discord.
I’m not sure how a modern remake of The Goonies could relate to a younger audience.
It’s A Wonderful Life
Speaking of holiday movies, none may be more iconic than It’s A Wonderful Life.
The film has become more appreciated over time, aging like fine wine. There are some things that should never, ever be remade, but that doesn’t stop people from trying.
Most recently, Black-ish creator Kenya Barris confirmed he’s writing a modern version of the beloved film. While there’s some merit in seeing a modern reimagining, it’s hard to compete with what is arguably a perfect movie.
Gone With the Wind
I’m not sure how you can even approach a Gone with the Wind remake today.
Obviously, step one would be cutting down its lengthy runtime. Beyond that, though, there’s a lot of dancing around the themes of a story in Civil War America that many would deem “too problematic” today.
While changing the film’s setting would be an easy option, I’d argue that doing so would damage the quality of any attempted remake. Some things are best left where they are, and this is one of many examples.
The Terminator
Given Hollywood’s stubbornness to keep The Terminator franchise relevant, I’m surprised that they haven’t gone back and done a full reboot/remake yet.
On the one hand, I don’t think James Cameron would let them, and he’s one of the few directors with enough pull (and money) to prevent this from happening.
On the other hand, I hope I didn’t just give a Hollywood executive an idea.
Vertigo
Alfred Hitchcock’s library has already been subjected to several remakes and adaptations, some successful like Throw Mama From the Train, based on Strangers on a Train. Others, like the shot-for-shot remake of Psycho, have failed tremendously.
Vertigo is currently in production and, as of 2023, will feature Robert Downey Jr. However, RDJ is busy returning to the MCU as Doctor Doom, which hopefully means this remake never gets off the ground.
Clue
The 1985 adaptation of the popular board game should honestly have never worked. Despite the odds, it was an enjoyable, albeit unserious, cult classic.
Hollywood seems determined to capture lightning in a bottle twice. As of last year, Sony owns the rights to Clue and has its eyes on both film and TV. They’re not the first studio to try to remake the movie; 20th Century had Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman set to star before losing the rights.
The Naked Gun
Paramount Pictures.
The wheels have been in motion for far too long on a Naked Gun reboot, with development originally announced in 2013 by Paramount Pictures.
The one saving grace here is that it’s in the hands of Akiva Schaffer, best known for his work as part of The Lonely Island comedy group. Liam Neeson is perfect casting as Frank Drebin Jr., but at the same time, there’s only one Leslie Nielsen.
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