Franchises define today’s era in Hollywood; why risk investing in a new IP when you can release prequels, sequels, or spin-offs?
Better yet, why invest in a new story when you can simply remake a beloved movie? It feels like every day, a new remake of a beloved film is announced. Enough is enough, though, and we’re putting our foot down.
Here are ten movies we think should never be remade, even if some are already in production.
American Psycho
All systems seem to be go for a remake of the 2000s classic with Austin Butler starring starring as Patrick Bateman and directed by Luca Guadagnino (Challengers).
However, author Bret Easton Ellis, who wrote the American Psycho novel, recently said there are no contracts or deals, calling the rumors fake news.
The original American Psycho is still a classic that ages well. A remake adapted for modern times would offer nothing new or substantial.
The Wizard of Oz
If you watched television at any point during the holiday season, you saw an ad for Wicked, the theatrical adaptation of the popular musical based on the book, which takes place in the world of The Wizard of Oz.
Wicked itself isn’t a remake, but the popularity of all things Wizard of Oz has never been higher. While the 1939 film is a timeless classic, Hollywood has proven never to be shy about remaking movies that shouldn’t be remade.
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
With new Lord of the Rings movies in development, it feels like it’s only a matter of time before the trilogy sees a remake.
While a remake would allow for some changes to the adaptation of the source material, such as the inclusion of Tom Bombadil and an ending that doesn’t last an eternity, the Peter Jackson trilogy is as close to perfect as you will get. Why mess with perfection?
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Back to the Future
Speaking of messing with perfection, we hear rumors of a Back to the Future remake for a modern audience every so often. After all, 1985 is now 40 years old, a bigger gap between 1985 and 1955 in the original movie.
One big reason for rumors of a Back to the Future remake is the popularity of Back to the Future: The Musical, which means the classic film can go the route of Mean Girls.
Given the lukewarm reception to the Mean Girls musical’s theatrical release, though, I think we’re safe here.
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
There’s reportedly not one but two remakes planned of the classic Steve Martin and John Candy comedy: one starring Will Smith and Kevin Hart, and another featuring Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler.
However, both of those reports are several years old. Since then, Will Smith has slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars, and Adam Sandler has instead focused on a sequel to Happy Gilmore.
I’m also not sure how a modern remake would work due to modern technology; all of the original movie’s conflicts are solved with the existence of cell phones and mobile apps.
Gone With the Wind
I’m not sure how you can even approach a Gone with the Wind remake today.
Obviously, step one would be cutting down its lengthy runtime. Beyond that, though, there’s a lot of dancing around the themes of a story in Civil War America that many would deem “too problematic” today.
While changing the film’s setting would be an easy option, I’d argue that doing so would damage the quality of any attempted remake. Some things are best left where they are, and this is one of many examples.
The Terminator
Given Hollywood’s stubbornness to keep The Terminator franchise relevant, I’m surprised that they haven’t gone back and done a full reboot/remake yet.
On the one hand, I don’t think James Cameron would let them, and he’s one of the few directors with enough pull (and money) to prevent this from happening.
On the other hand, I hope I didn’t just give a Hollywood executive an idea.
Vertigo
Alfred Hitchcock’s library has already been subjected to several remakes and adaptations, some successful like Throw Mama From the Train, based on Strangers on a Train. Others, like the shot-for-shot remake of Psycho, have failed tremendously.
Vertigo is currently in production and, as of 2023, will feature Robert Downey Jr. However, RDJ is busy returning to the MCU as Doctor Doom, which hopefully means this remake never gets off the ground.
Clue
The 1985 adaptation of the popular board game should honestly have never worked. Despite the odds, it was an enjoyable, albeit unserious, cult classic.
Hollywood seems determined to capture lightning in a bottle twice. As of last year, Sony owns the rights to Clue and has its eyes on both film and TV. They’re not the first studio to try to remake the movie; 20th Century had Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman set to star before losing the rights.
The Naked Gun
Paramount Pictures.
The wheels have been in motion for far too long on a Naked Gun reboot, with development originally announced in 2013 by Paramount Pictures.
The one saving grace here is that it’s in the hands of Akiva Schaffer, best known for his work as part of The Lonely Island comedy group. Liam Neeson is perfect casting as Frank Drebin Jr., but at the same time, there’s only one Leslie Nielsen.
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