Opinions are subjective. They’re not based on fact but on the conclusion of one person. Sometimes, a large majority of people share that same opinion, particularly when it comes to movies.
Few movies are universally agreed upon as great, but successful movies are generally agreed upon as great.
I’m here to be the devil’s advocate and the contrarian. Most people say these films are incredible, but I have to be honest: I hated them.
Silver Linings Playbook
I hated everyone in this movie. They’re all miserable people who deserve to live in misery, not get a happy ending.
Jennifer Lawrence’s character is insufferable, Bradley Cooper’s made me want to punch a hole in the wall, and his parents (Robert DeNiro and Jacki Weaver) aren’t much better.
I understand that you must find the silver linings during the worst moments of your life, but I need something redeemable about these people.
American Hustle
Maybe I just don’t like David O. Russell, or maybe I don’t like period pieces whose characters and costume design stick out like sore thumbs.
The accents are too over the top, the entire cast and script are trying too hard, and the overarching plot is meandering. This is the type of movie that tries so hard to be intelligent but fails in the end.
The English Patient
Elaine Benes said it best: “Quit telling your stupid story about the stupid desert, and just die already!”
Look, I can deal with movie runtimes that border on three hours, but I need something to happen in those three hours. I need something that captivates me. Making an ambitious movie just to say you made an ambitious movie doesn’t mean anything.
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Grand Budapest Hotel
I’ve tried to watch Grand Budapest Hotel many times, but I just can’t do it.
The movie takes far too long to get going, and its pacing issues are prevalent throughout. Remarkably, it only has a 100-minute run time, even though it felt like an eternity.
Sin City
It is one of two movies I’ve fallen asleep to while in theaters and the only movie I’ve ever walked out on.
Sin City is all style and no substance, failing to deliver a modern comic book noir story that lacks the grounded reality that makes these movies work.
Avatar
Let’s talk about the other movie I’ve fallen asleep through in theaters.
Avatar is just a big-budget version of Dances with Wolves or Pochantos. It offers nothing new to a story that’s been told countless times. No matter how impressive its visuals and 3D are, they don’t make up for a film that constantly overstays its welcome.
Napoleon Dynamite
Is it possible that I wasn’t the target audience for Napoleon Dynamite upon release? Sure, but I was also still in high school, so who knows?
To me, the movie is just boring. I don’t get the humor, the jokes fall flat, and there’s nothing interesting happening. Its devoted fans will strongly disagree with me, but hey, it’s my list!
Joker
I’ll admit that Joker was an okay movie, but one of the greatest comic book films of all time? Give me a break.
Joker tries hard to toe the line between a sympathetic villain and real-life commentary, but ultimately, it’s carried by the strong performance of Joaquin Phoenix. Still, even an actor as talented as him can’t save the movie. But hey, what do I know; this thing made over $1 billion at the box office!
The Blind Side
I’ve talked about movies that inexplicably won Best Picture before. Thankfully, The Blind Side isn’t one of those movies, but somehow, Sandra Bullock won an Oscar for her performance here. It should have gone to Gabourey Sidibie for Precious, for what it’s worth.
The Blind Side was nominated for Best Picture, though. Its controversial nomination resulted in the Academy changing the rules, saying that five to ten films will be nominated depending on voting results. The only thing The Blind Side is good at is being a preacy white savior movie.
Iron Man
Call me crazy, but I’m not the biggest fan of the MCU’s theatrical debut.
Iron Man lets Robert Downey Jr. successfully revive his career; there’s no doubt that he is Tony Stark, but beyond that, the plot and characters are a little too over the top for my tastes. I’m someone who enjoyed the more grounded, gritty feel of the Russo Bros. era of Marvel movies.
I guess, then, that my last movie shouldn’t be much of a surprise.
The Avengers
Motion Pictures.
When The Avengers was released in theaters, I “celebrated” by watching Watchmen instead.
There’s no denying how impactful The Avengers was for the industry, but the first major team-up had a little too much winking and nodding at the audience for my tastes.
Infinity War, though, is now one heck of a film.
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